Have you REALLY changed?

When you look back on your life I want you to think about what your patterns have been in areas of relationships, work, social experiences, failures, and successes. Ask yourself the question: Am I making the same mistake repeatedly, and if so, why does this keep happening. Why do I keep attracting the same types of people in relationships, and why do I find myself in the same situations? You might think that since you got out of this relationship or this job that you feel much stronger or much wiser. You might think to yourself, “Of course I’ve changed: I’ve gained a new perspective.” But have you really?

Below are three ways to help you identify whether or not you’ve changed:

1. You are able to tell the difference between what you want and what you don’t want. If you’ve changed then you will become increasingly aware of behaviors in yourself and others that you will no longer tolerate. You’ll find yourself gravitating towards people, places, and things that align with your ideals for your life. And the things the people, places, and things that do not align with the new you begin to fade away. Moving closer to what you want will inevitably push you further away from what you don’t want.

2. The quality of your relationships are improving. One of the first things to go when people go through a trauma are their relationships. People begin to isolate and cut off people who may genuinely care about them. Starting to mend and rebuild those relationships will take effort. But if you find you are putting forth this effort despite the discomfort, then you are inevitably changing.

3. You are allowing yourself to feel. Not just the negative emotions but also the positive emotions too. Some people go through a phase of numbing. They decide that the negative emotions are too much so they suppress them. Well, unfortunately, you cant pick and choose which emotions to feel. If you block out the negative emotions, you are also blocking out the positive emotions.

Which would you prefer: to feel everything or to feel nothing? When you start being open to feeling ALL emotions, welcoming them with open arms, and learning from them, then you know you are on the path of change.

For more on this, please connect with one of our skilled therapists. Schedule your free consultation today!

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