What is a core belief and why does it matter? A core belief is a belief about yourself that developed when you were very young or as a result of a significant event. These events could include abuse, neglect, death, break ups, being reprimanded, failing at something, being bullied, etc. As a result of a significant life event, people develop one or both these core beliefs: I am not good enough or I don’t matter.
When these core beliefs develop, it typically affects the way that you see yourself, the world, and others around you. For example, some people with the core belief of I’m not good enough either overcompensate or undercompensate. Those who overcompensate are usually over achievers. They are the ones who have 2 degrees and are going for their 3rd. No matter how hard they work they are never satisfied. This affects every single aspect of their life. People with this core belief often experience feelings of inadequacy in relationships. They feel like they need to be better lovers or that they need to give more to prove to their spouse that they are worthwhile.
Those who have this core belief but undercompensate, they are the underachievers. They’re the ones who don’t try because they believe they will never be good enough anyways, so why bother. They are unhappy in their jobs or relationships but settle because they feel powerless in being able to change their life.
If you have this core belief, what do you do about it? First, think about what would your life be like if you actually truly believed that you were good enough. How would your life change? What would you be doing differently? What would your relationship look like? What career would you be in? If this life is significantly different than the life you’re living today, then therapy is for you. Schedule a consultation to learn more.